Am I the same person I was a few weeks ago when I got this crown? Obviously not! I'm 16 days older. HA
In all seriousness, I have a heavy heart tonight because I know there are other women struggling out there. I wish that we did't have to go through hard times in life to come out with better characters. I think that my character would have bee just fine without enduring the heartache I have felt. I am sorry if this blog brings you down a little, or a lot. I want to explain how I think you shouldn't be afraid of feeling.
I remember a time in my life when I started thinking that I couldn't or actually shouldn't express my emotions. I stepped off that bus at boot camp and I wasn't allowed to be afraid. In all actuality, I felt a kinship, a place to belong, once I started my military career. I wasn't scared to be proud of who I was and who I was becoming. But, I couldn't cry, laugh, scream, or grumble when I was sad, scared, happy, lonely, excited, or any other emotion. I placed myself in a category of 'no emotion'. For me it was a sign of weakness to show emotion.
Early in my career, a lived through a traumatic event. The details aren't important, what is important is how the people around me reacted. All of a sudden there was nothing from anyone except light heart banter. no one know how to talk to me. I was on the outside, looking in at life. I still carry that emotion, but no one gets to see it.
It's so easy to say all of this in my head, but it doesn't come out typed.
What has this group of women pictured here have in common with each other? We are all #femaleveterans. We have all been on the outside, looking in. But now we stand together, looking forward. Where will the crown sit high next? Who's world will it be a part of, and travel with?
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